B ME Bites 6: Why Do You Do What You Do? - Part 4

Welcome to edition #6 of B ME Bites! This week is Part 4 of the series titled “Why Do You Do What You Do?” As discussed over the past few weeks, there’s a reason why you do everything you do, whether it’s a behaviour that’s functional or dysfunctional. This week, let’s talk about that sneaky little demon, self sabotage!

For this edition, you can choose your own adventure to proceed!:

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📺 If you prefer to watch, you can watch on YouTube:

If you prefer to read, proceed from here! 👇

Featured Topic: Why do you self sabotage?

Last week you learned that even though you may be king or queen of your castle, your knights could decide to perform a coup, should they not agree with what you want them to do. Or in real life terms, the unconscious mind has to be on board with the conscious mind because 95% of your behaviour is unconscious. Therefore, the knights need to agree to what the king or queen wants and if they don’t, then you will self sabotage at some point every single time.

What causes self sabotage? It’s all part of being human and it’s completely natural. The human brain has one job and one job only. To keep you alive, safe and protected. At all costs. It is constantly analysing what is going on around you and if it has any concerns about anything, it will throw all kinds of barriers in your way to keep you safe and protected. The human brain really is like an overprotective parent. It loves you so much that it sometimes makes decisions that seem utterly ridiculous because it wants to stop you from getting hurt.

The problem is, that it doesn’t always get it right. You see the human brain errs on the side of caution, so if a situation is unfamiliar, it will quite often perceive that as dangerous. Anything outside of your comfort zone is unfamiliar, so when you try to push outside of that comfort zone, your brain will throw out danger signals which can cause you to self sabotage and retreat back into your comfort zone where you’re safe. The human brain doesn’t know the difference between real or perceived danger and so treats any foray out of your comfort zone as life threatening and it will do whatever it needs to do, to make you retreat.

How do you overcome it? Awareness is always the very first step, which is what the “Why Do You Do What You Do?” series is all about. Many people don’t realise that the behaviour they can’t control is actually a protection mechanism from their loving, overprotective brain. There are numerous facets to it, which is why it’s important to break them down into bite sized pieces as has been done over these 4 editions. The very fact that you now have more insight into WHY you do what you do, means that you can start to have a conversation with your subconscious mind. You can say something like, “Thank you subconscious brain! I know that you love me and are just trying to keep me safe and protected, but I will be ok when I (insert the step you’re taking).” You may have to have many such conversations like this with your subconscious brain, but the more you have them, the easier it will be for you to push through that comfort zone.

The second step is to focus on taking S.T.E.P.S steps. By taking S.T.E.P.S steps and ensuring that each step is SMALL, you are much less likely to trigger self sabotage. If you missed the edition about the S.T.E.P.S Formula, or you need a refresher, you can find it here.

Step 3 is to be kind to yourself. By now, especially if you have read all 4 instalments in this series, you understand that there is a reason why you do every single thing that you do, whether it’s something that works for you or something that doesn’t. So be kind to you. There’s an old saying: “You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar”. The way that you speak to yourself matters and this is such an important topic, that there will be an edition dedicated to this very soon.

Finally, here’s a bite sized 6 minute video I did, that explains the process in a little more depth:

There’s a reason why you do everything you do. Why do you do what you do? What is your brain protecting you from?

Reader Spotlight

Thank you to Narmie who left the following review after reading “S.T.E.P.S Towards Organic Living: Non-Toxic Living on a Budget”:

If you want to check it out, you can do so here.

Weekly Challenge

Your mission for this week, if you choose to accept it, is to do the following:

Think about a goal that you set for yourself that you haven’t succeeded in achieving yet, and analyse whether self sabotage is a factor holding you back. If you believe that you have been sabotaging yourself, what’s one small S.T.E.P.S step that you can take towards your goal right now? Now take the step!

If you need some help, feel free to hit reply - let’s help you get started if you’re stuck!

B ME Bites is deliberately sent on a Friday morning (Aussie time) so that where ever you are in the world, you have the weekend to give yourself the gift of implementing a small change towards a better you. What will that small change be? Is there a change that you have been trying to make and haven’t yet succeeded? Give it another go, applying the above - you can do it!

Resource Roundup

Dr Debi Silber did an awesome Ted Talk on the subject:

You can find out more about Dr Debi Silber’s work here.

If you missed parts 1-3 of the series, you can find Part 1 here, Part 2 here and Part 3 here.

Below is a resource list that has been created with you in mind. Whenever something new that could be helpful is discovered, it’s added to the list, so check it out from time to time. If you’re strapped for time, once you open the page below, scroll down to the Resource List section and click on the “Health Tools” link for a list of items that could be helpful on your path to a better you.

Thanks for reading and the hope is that you found something helpful inside this issue. If you did, remember to share it with others whom could also find it helpful. You can do so using this link: https://bmebites.beehiiv.com

If you have an inspiring story, or a helpful tip or strategy to share, or if there is something specific you would like covered, please fill out the form below so that it can be shared with the community. Please note that this is a subscriber survey, so you may have to subscribe first (hint, hint…… 😉) : https://bmebites.beehiiv.com/forms/8d0dfdd1-4290-4e40-bff9-1f61b812c661

Until next week, keep taking one S.T.E.P.S step at a time! (If you missed the issue explaining The S.T.E.P.S Formula, you can check that out here)

Warm regards,

Shari Ware Chief Encouragement Officer at B ME Bites