B ME Bites 3: Why Do You Do What You Do? - Part 1

Welcome to the third edition of B ME Bites! This week is the beginning of a series titled “Why Do You Do What You Do?”, which is all about the underlying reasons behind human behaviour. Is your interest piqued? Then keep reading!

For this edition, you can choose your own adventure to proceed!:

🎙️ If you prefer to listen, you can listen on your preferred platform.

📺 If you prefer to watch, you can watch on YouTube:

If you prefer to read, proceed from here! 👇

Featured Topic: What needs are being met?

Have you ever been frustrated with yourself for continuing a behaviour that you don’t like even though you tried to stop? Or maybe you just know that the behaviour doesn’t serve you, but no matter how hard you try not to, you continue to do it?

Take smoking for instance. There are many smokers who want to give up and have tried many times to give up because they know that smoking is not good for their health. It’s definitely possible to give up smoking, because many others have done it. So why can some give it up and some can’t?

Many would have you believe that it’s because those that are able to give it up have better will power than those that try and fail. It’s often perceived that those that can’t make change in their life, such as giving up smoking or releasing weight, are weak, or lazy, or lacking in discipline.

These beliefs and perceptions are way off the mark. There is a reason why human beings do every single thing they do, whether it be a behaviour that serves them or a behaviour that doesn’t and it has nothing to do with will power. Will power will only get you so far and to make lasting change in your life, it takes more than will power.

There are a few different factors which will be explored over the next few weeks, in order to keep to the premise of B ME Bites and keeping each week to a “bite-sized” actionable chunk. This week, the focus will be on “What needs are being met?”

For those of you who know of Tony Robbins, you may already know about the 6 human needs that he talks about and made renowned. Tony explains that for every behaviour that we engage in regularly, whether it be functional in our lives or dysfunctional, it is meeting at least 3 of the following 6 human needs, which are:

• Certainty - feeling of stability and safety, avoiding pain and/or gaining pleasure

• Variety - the need for change, something different

• Love and connection - feeling closeness with others

• Significance - feeling important, worthy

• Growth - humans need the ability to grow and develop

• Contribution - giving back to others, legacy

Therefore, if you’re doing something regularly, even if it doesn’t meet all of the above needs, it would be meeting at least 3 of them. Let’s use the smoking example again. For most smokers, smoking would most likely be meeting at least 3 of the following, if not all of them:

• Certainty - a cigarette gives a nicotine hit, avoiding withdrawal pain and delivering a hit of dopomine which is gaining pleasure

• Variety - having a cigarette break is a break from the norm

• Love and connection - time to connect with self or others

• Significance - a young teen smoking could be looking for significance in the eyes of their peers

So, if there’s a behaviour that you want to stop, or a behaviour that you want to create in your life, think about what needs it either is, or could, meet. If you are going to stop a dysfunctional habit or behaviour, it’s imperative that you find a replacement habit or behaviour that meets the same needs at the same level or higher.

There’s a reason why you do everything you do. Why do you do what you do? What needs are being met?

Reader Spotlight

Thank you to Lay Ean who had the following to say after reading “Healthy! Beautiful Inside & Out ”:

You can find a link to this book here.

Weekly Challenge

Your mission for this week, if you choose to accept it, is to do at least one of the following:

a) To choose a behaviour or habit in your life, either past or present, and analyse what needs it was, or is, meeting for you; or

b) Choose a behaviour or habit that you want to stop, analyse which of the 6 human needs it’s meeting and decide on a new, better habit, ensuring that it will meet the same needs at the same level or higher; or

c) Choose a behaviour or habit that you want to create in your life and find a way to do it so that it meets at least 3 of the 6 human needs. The more the better, but at least 3.

If you need some help, feel free to hit reply - let’s help you get started if you’re stuck!

B ME Bites is deliberately sent on a Friday morning (Aussie time) so that where ever you are in the world, you have the weekend to give yourself the gift of implementing a small change towards a better you. What will that small change be? Is there a change that you have been trying to make and haven’t yet succeeded? Give it another go, applying the 6 human needs - you can do it!

Resource Roundup

If you want to learn more about the 6 human needs from Tony Robbins himself, here’s a link to an article on his website:

Below is a resource list that has been created with you in mind. Whenever something new that could be helpful is discovered, it’s added to the list, so check it out from time to time. If you’re strapped for time, once you open the page below, scroll down to the Resource List section and click on the “Health Tools” link for a list of items that could be helpful on your path to a better you.

Thanks for reading and the hope is that you found something helpful inside this issue. If you did, remember to share it with others whom could also find it helpful. You can do so using your special link which you will find in this section of the edition in your inbox, and if you’re not, (if you’re not, why not? 😛 ) use this link: https://bmebites.beehiiv.com

If you have an inspiring story, or a helpful tip or strategy to share, please fill out the form below so that it can be shared with the community. Please note that this is a subscriber survey, so you may have to subscribe first (hint, hint…… 😉) : https://bmebites.beehiiv.com/forms/8d0dfdd1-4290-4e40-bff9-1f61b812c661

Until next week, keep taking one S.T.E.P.S step at a time! (If you missed the issue explaining The S.T.E.P.S Formula, you can check that out here)

Warm regards,

Shari Ware Chief Encouragement Officer at B ME Bites